The Divorce Process: Steps & Duration

A divorce raises many questions – and one of the most common is: how does the whole thing actually work, and how long does it take? In Germany, the path from separation to a final divorce decree follows fixed steps. Knowing them allows you to approach the proceedings far more calmly and better prepared. This article explains the divorce process step by step – from separation and filing the petition through to the decree becoming final – and shows how long you should realistically expect it to take.

In short Before the divorce comes the separation year (Trennungsjahr). Once it has expired, a lawyer files the divorce petition with the family court. The court carries out the pension rights adjustment, summons the parties to the divorce hearing and then pronounces the divorce. Counting from the date of filing, an uncontested divorce usually takes four to six months, a contested one often one to two years.

The Divorce Process at a Glance

At its core, every divorce follows the same six steps:

1. Separation year – the spouses live apart for at least one year.
2. Divorce petition – a lawyer files the petition with the competent family court.
3. Advance on court costs & service – once payment has been made, the petition is served on the other spouse.
4. Pension rights adjustment – the court divides the pension entitlements acquired during the marriage.
5. Divorce hearing – both spouses are heard before the family court.
6. Divorce decree & finality – the court pronounces the divorce, and the marriage ends once the decree becomes final.

Let us look at each step in detail.

Step 1: The Separation Year

Every divorce begins with separation. German law follows the so-called breakdown principle (Zerrüttungsprinzip): a marriage can be dissolved if it has broken down – that is, if the spouses no longer share their lives together and they cannot be expected to restore their marital relationship (§ 1565(1) German Civil Code (BGB)). As a rule, the law requires a separation year for this.

Spouses are considered separated when they no longer share a household and at least one of them clearly rejects the marital relationship (§ 1567(1) BGB). Important: separation does not have to mean that someone moves out – it is also possible within the shared home.

Info – separation within the home If you separate "from bed and board" without moving out, you must divide the home into separate areas: separate bedrooms, separate household management, no shared finances. Occasional favours or shared meals with the children do not prevent separation. A brief attempt at reconciliation (up to about three months) does not interrupt the separation year (§ 1567(2) BGB).

In an uncontested divorce, both spouses usually state the date of separation consistently – the court then generally does not examine it any further. In practice, the vast majority of divorces are uncontested: around nine out of ten divorce petitions are filed with the consent of the other spouse.

Can the Separation Year Be Shortened?

Only in genuinely exceptional cases. A divorce before the separation year has expired is possible if continuing the marriage would cause unreasonable hardship for one spouse for reasons relating to the other spouse (§ 1565(2) BGB) – for example in cases of serious domestic violence. The requirements are very strict; such a hardship divorce (Härtefallscheidung) remains the absolute exception.

What If My Spouse Does Not Agree?

Divorce is still possible. After one year of separation and with the consent of both spouses, the breakdown of the marriage is irrefutably presumed (§ 1566(1) BGB). If only one spouse wants a divorce, this presumption applies after three years of separation at the latest – even against the will of the other (§ 1566(2) BGB). In practice, however, the breakdown of the marriage can usually be demonstrated as early as after the separation year, so a lack of consent hardly ever prevents a divorce permanently. You can read more about this in our article Divorce in Germany.

Step 2: The Divorce Petition – Filing with the Family Court

Once the separation year has expired, the divorce petition can be filed. An important special rule applies here: representation by a lawyer is mandatory (Anwaltszwang, § 114 of the Act on Proceedings in Family Matters and in Matters of Non-contentious Jurisdiction (FamFG)). The petition can therefore only be filed with the court by a lawyer – it is not possible without legal representation.

Tip In an uncontested divorce, a single lawyer is enough. Only the spouse who files the petition needs legal representation – the other merely has to consent to the petition (§ 114(4) no. 3 FamFG). This saves the cost of a second lawyer. However, the other spouse can only file their own applications or waive the right to appeal if they have their own lawyer.

Which Court Has Jurisdiction?

The competent court is the family court, a division of the Local Court (Amtsgericht). Which location decides is governed by § 122 FamFG: primarily the court in whose district one spouse lives with all joint minor children. If there are no children, the decisive factor is the last shared place of residence, provided one of the spouses still lives there. If both have moved away, the court at the place of residence of the respondent – the spouse on whom the petition is served – has jurisdiction. A later move during the proceedings no longer changes jurisdiction.

Which Documents Are Required?

For the petition (its content is governed by § 133 FamFG), you will mainly need:

• the marriage certificate (Heiratsurkunde/Eheurkunde) or the family register (Familienstammbuch),
• the birth certificates of joint minor children,
• details of the date of separation and of your income situation (for the value of the proceedings),
• where applicable, a prenuptial agreement or a divorce settlement agreement,
• the completed pension rights adjustment questionnaire.

Today, lawyers file the petition itself with the court electronically via the special electronic lawyers' mailbox (besonderes elektronisches Anwaltspostfach, beA). If you would like to start the proceedings conveniently from home, you will find the details in our article on online divorce.

Step 3: Advance on Court Costs and Service

Once the petition has been received, the court first requests an advance on court costs. Only once this has been paid does the court formally serve the divorce petition on the other spouse. Upon service, the proceedings become pending (rechtshängig) – an important cut-off date, as it determines, among other things, the end of the marriage period for the pension rights adjustment and the reference date for final assets in the equalisation of accrued gains (Zugewinnausgleich).

Tip Paying the advance promptly often speeds up the proceedings by several weeks – because without payment, the petition will not be served and no hearing will be scheduled. If your income is low, you can apply for procedural legal aid (Verfahrenskostenhilfe); the advance is then waived.

Step 4: The Pension Rights Adjustment

The pension rights adjustment (Versorgungsausgleich) is the step that has the greatest influence on how long a divorce takes. It involves dividing equally between the spouses the retirement provision entitlements acquired during the marriage – above all pension rights. If the marriage has lasted more than three years, the family court carries out the pension rights adjustment automatically of its own motion; for shorter marriages, only upon application.

To this end, both spouses complete the pension rights adjustment questionnaire. The court then obtains information from the pension providers – the statutory pension insurance scheme, occupational pension schemes or professional pension funds. In practice, it is precisely this information that most often slows things down: where there are several entitlements, it can take months until all providers have replied. If there is a considerable delay through no fault of the spouses, the court can separate the pension rights adjustment from the divorce and pronounce the divorce in advance (§ 140 FamFG).

The pension rights adjustment can also be excluded – for example by a notarised agreement as part of a prenuptial agreement (Ehevertrag) or a divorce settlement agreement. This should, however, be carefully considered, as the adjustment affects the retirement provision of both parties.

Step 5: The Divorce Hearing

Once all the information is available, the court summons the parties to the divorce hearing. Both spouses are expected to appear in person and are heard (§ 128 FamFG). Do not worry: the hearing is not public and, in an uncontested divorce, usually lasts only ten to fifteen minutes.

The judge will typically ask: since when have you lived apart? How was the separation carried out? Were there any attempts at reconciliation? Do both of you want to be divorced? If there are joint minor children, custody and contact rights will also be discussed. If one spouse lives far away, a hearing at their own place of residence or, increasingly, by video hearing is possible (§ 128a of the Code of Civil Procedure (ZPO)).

Step 6: Divorce Decree and Finality

If all requirements are met, the court pronounces the divorce decree at the hearing. However, you are only divorced – and therefore single again – once this decree has become final. An appeal against the decree can be lodged within one month of service (§§ 58 et seq. FamFG). If this month expires without an appeal, the divorce becomes final.

Tip – immediately final If both spouses – each represented by a lawyer – declare directly at the hearing that they waive their right to appeal (§ 67 FamFG), the divorce becomes final immediately. This saves you the month's wait. Beforehand, however, you should have it checked whether anything still depends on your "married" status (such as separation maintenance or family health insurance cover).

Once the decree has become final, you will receive a copy of the decree with a certificate of finality. This document is your proof of divorce – you will need it, for example, to remarry or to change your name.

How Long Does a Divorce Take?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer – but there are reliable empirical values. In addition to the actual duration of the proceedings (i.e. from the filing of the petition), there is always the preceding separation year of at least twelve months.

Plus the separation year (at least 12 months). Empirical values from family law practice, not statutory time limits. The main factors that prolong proceedings are lengthy responses from pension providers, contested ancillary matters and heavily overloaded family courts – particularly in metropolitan areas such as Munich. The proceedings can be speeded up by prompt payment of the advance, complete documentation and – where possible – an amicable solution.

Consequences of Divorce: What Is Decided Alongside It?

The divorce and its ancillary matters are generally heard together – this is known as the combined proceedings (Verbund, § 137 FamFG). Apart from the pension rights adjustment, which the court deals with automatically, the court only addresses ancillary matters if a spouse expressly applies for this. These include in particular:

• post-marital maintenance,
• the equalisation of accrued gains (division of assets),
• custody and contact rights for joint children,
• the allocation of the marital home and household effects, and how to deal with jointly owned property.

The more of these points are disputed, the longer and more expensive the proceedings become. A notarised divorce settlement agreement (Scheidungsfolgenvereinbarung), through which the spouses reach agreement in advance, keeps the proceedings lean and noticeably speeds up the divorce.

Frequently Asked Questions About the Divorce Process

Do I have to appear in court in person for the divorce?

Yes. The court generally orders both spouses to appear in person and hears them (§ 128 FamFG). If you live far away, a hearing at your place of residence or, increasingly, by video hearing is possible (§ 128a ZPO).

Can you get divorced without a lawyer?

No. Representation by a lawyer is mandatory (§ 114 FamFG) – at least the spouse who files the petition must be represented by a lawyer. The other spouse can consent to the divorce without their own lawyer, but can only file their own applications with a lawyer.

What happens if my spouse does not want a divorce?

After three years of separation at the latest, the divorce will be pronounced even without consent (§ 1566(2) BGB). The breakdown of the marriage can usually be proven as early as after the separation year – so in practice, a refusal to consent hardly ever prevents a divorce.

How long does it take after the divorce hearing for the decree to become final?

Up to one month – this corresponds to the time limit for appeal from service of the decree. If both spouses, each represented by a lawyer, waive their right to appeal at the hearing (§ 67 FamFG), the divorce becomes final immediately.

Can the separation year be shortened?

Only exceptionally, by way of a hardship divorce in cases of unreasonable hardship (§ 1565(2) BGB), for example in cases of serious violence. The hurdles for this are very high.

What is the pension rights adjustment?

The equal division of the pension entitlements acquired by both spouses during the marriage. If the marriage has lasted more than three years, the family court carries it out automatically.

How much does a divorce cost?

Court and lawyers' fees are based on the value of the proceedings, which essentially derives from the income of both spouses and the pension rights adjustment. You will find a detailed overview on our page on divorce costs in Munich.

Planning a Divorce in Munich? Get Expert Advice

Every divorce is different – and proper preparation is key, particularly when it comes to the separation year, the pension rights adjustment and ancillary matters. Rechtsanwältin (lawyer) Dr. iur. Christina Schmidt is an expert in family law and will guide you through your divorce proceedings discreetly, with a focus on solutions and with determination – from filing the petition to the final decree.

For a personal initial consultation, you can reach the firm at Maximilianstraße 2, 80539 München, by telephone on +49 89 244 131 96 or via the contact form. On request, advice is also available throughout Germany and online.

This article provides general information on the divorce process and does not replace individual legal advice.